I was thinking the other night about the changes I have been going through this year. I have lost weight, ran races, met new people, finished P90X… these are the big things but there are smaller things everyday. One being, not having negative thoughts about myself. How often did I used to think that I wasn’t strong enough to run, I wasn’t fast enough to race, people would laugh at me if I showed up at the starting line. These thoughts whirled in my head constantly.
Another huge change is that it is now effortless. I eat right and exercise daily with no thought what so ever. Yes, I have days where I want to eat something unhealthy but now I either ignore that want or eat it. If I eat it I enjoy it with no guilt. If I eat too much I do not abandon all hope and give up. I did not start calling myself names – telling myself that I am weak and lazy and that I will never lose the weight. I do not say anything of those things.
The biggest difference is that I know I will succeed. If I do the right things every day it will come. Maybe not as fast as I want it to, but it will happen. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind.
So, what changed? Why did I spend 20 years of my adult life “trying” to lose weight. Why did I struggle so hard to keep it off if I did lose it? Why was it so hard to get motivated every time I decided to “try” again. The main difference is GOALS. Specifically not weightloss goals. Yes, it started out that way… last September my one goal was to lose 100 pounds by September 2009. After I started really thinking about my life though I decided to set other types of goals like finishing my first round of the 30 Day Shred, running my first 5K, training and running for my first 10K, completing P90X.
With every new challenge came a new confidence. I slowly started to believe I could do these things. It became less about the weight and more about eating right to keep my energy up. I needed to fuel these workouts. It was too hard to run after having too many cocktails and pizza! Forget about the calories I have miles to log!
I read on Jillian’s website that about 90% of people that only have a weightloss goal gain the weight back if they lose it. If all they are doing it striving for some magic number then what happens when they reach that number? What is the purpose then? Nothing. Striving for something more than some number is the key.
This simple shift in thinking is magical. It makes Friday morning weigh-ins less stressful. Yes, I still have pounds to lose, but if I go a couple of weeks without losing, even if I think I should have, I can think back to that week and maybe I ran longer than ever, maybe faster, perhaps I did real push-ups or jumped higher. There are so many successes now that it is so easy not to let one thing get me down.
Today was the third day of my second round of Jillian’s 30 Day Shred. In an effort to try to burn more than 220 calories like I have been I was really trying to jump higher and put more intensity in my moves. I still only burned 220 calories! Oh well. AND, in the process almost did something bad to my right foot. I do not think I did anything serious to it, but it did hurt for a moment after jumping jacks like something snapped in it… that sounds really bad, but I do not think anything happened. I really do not know what it was but I iced it and it feels ok right now.
At lunch today I had a really great interval session on the elliptical. I burned 300 calories. I got up to level 17 – it was pretty intense. The gym was pretty crowded by the end of my workout and I am sure I was really breathing hard but I do not care. I was on a mission!
Now I am going to shower and go to bed. Good night!
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