My last rant

This is the last time I am going to whine about my near marathon experience. I am still pretty upset about it and still cannot believe it is not behind me. I dread going in to work tomorrow and having to talk about it all day. I really hope everyone heard the news and I can go on with my day. It really shouldn’t be that big of a deal to me, but it is. This was supposed to be the day…

But here is the clincher… not only did I miss my big day but I lost so much fitness over the past few months. HOW does someone run miles and miles a week and be in worse shape then before? I know I talked about this yesterday, too, but it is amazing. Scarlette reminded me that we certainly improved our cardio endurance and fitness. My heart rate is as low as it has ever been but there is more than that to fitness.

I did my first day of my second round of P90X today. Seriously? I could hardly do most of the moves. I am doing the Lean version which has a lot of core work and cardio. Today I did Core Synergistics which used to be my favorite. I struggled through the whole thing. My abs are weak and my upper body is weak. It is going to take the whole three months to regain what I have lost!

Like I said yesterday, lessons learned – I will never get consumed with one thing anymore. Balance is the key – you have to mix things up or get stale. Plus, the major, crushing disappointment of missing ONE race will not be so tough.

Another thing I realized is that I have to improve my “mental edge”. I am having some pretty strong regrets that I didn’t run the whole thing despite it being canceled. Many people did. Why did I just run 13.25 miles? Sure, technically I was not prepared to support my run myself – I had no fuel belt, no Gu’s, no aid stations…. but I didn’t really try to figure it out. I was just too crushed to think past the words “the marathon is canceled”. Earlier on Saturday when they first started talking about the possibility I was already starting to doubt myself. By the time the words came I had all but given up. I could not shake my disappointment and overcome.  I have to work on that.

OK. That’s it… I am done. There is nothing I can do to change what happened this weekend. All I can do is move forward and get better.

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2 Comments

  1. Okay…if you ask me, I would continue with your running because ultimately you and I both know that you cannot stop now because it is in your blood. And you have built up an amazing amount of endurance…you had the strength and ability to be able to complete the full marathon. You would have gone 26.2 miles and would have totally rocked it! Keep up the endurance training, it’s awesome.

    My trainer always tells me though that I need to work on core and upper body as well because it will be as beneficial in my races as my running is. I have strong legs…I use them all the time and work them all the time especially when running. However, the core keeps you going and the upper body needs to have strength too. So, I vote keep up with your P90x and your running at the same time. Overall I believe that will help you get your last 20 pounds off.

    And you still inspire me in so many ways. I think with all the endurance you have built up you can probably run 5K, 10k and half-marathons so much faster than before…probably making PRs every time!! You are a rock star…never doubt that!! And your response to the cancellation is normal…you worked very hard to get to that point and you were ready to prove to yourself that you could. The cancellation was a huge disappointment to you and many others…I am sure there were some who didn’t even get out that day and do 13.25 miles! So, stop beating yourself up!

    You rock and I cannot wait to see what you do next!!!

  2. Katheryn

    Mom, you’re amazing! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Not only did you **RUN 20 MILES** during your training, you lowered your heart rate, you probably increased your VO2max and your cardiorespiratory fitness is phenomenal. You have also lowered your risk of disease in the process. Just because you aren’t as “strong” as you want to be, doesn’t mean you’re not healthy 🙂 SO I hope you don’t give up on yourself! I love you!

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