Whole42 – Days 38 and 37

This stupid week has me screwed up on which day it is. I forgot to publish my post from Wednesday and didn’t post last night. I thought I would do today’s early since I am just not in the mood to do anything else. I just ate my yummy lunch and read a fantastic blog by SwimBikeMom that is absolutely perfect for what happened yesterday.

Yesterday sucked. I have been feeling the build up happening at work. I knew something wasn’t going well. I caused some of it. I struggle with some things and generally hold my opinions to myself. I am, if nothing else, obidient at work. But, with my new found inner peace and all of the self-reflection I have been doing lately I thought I would start using my voice and expressing myself a bit. It backfired. At last four times. Maybe if the feedback for these four incidences was communicated in a timely manner it would have been ok. It came all at once. Like a bomb.

I let it ruin my day. I brought it home. I had a meltdown. It was not pretty. I have to point out that, as you can imgine, John took the brunt of my meltdown and just kept quiet. This, at first, was frustrating, but probably good. It has been a long time since I have been upset like this so hopefully it blows over. Our life is peaceful and happy and brought this mess home.

Needless to say I had a bad attitude coming in to work today. Some of my friends knew yesterday that I was struggling. It is hard to talk at work, but they knew. When I got to work this morning I had a card on my door with a hand written note and a little painted heart that says “Created. Chosen. Cherished”. So sweet. Later that day another friend brought me a card with a sweet, caring note. Others stopped by to check on me. Someone else brought me Starbucks. It’s funny because I only told a couple of people what happened and thought I was putting on a good face for everyone else. I guess not. They noticed. A lesson to me that people watch and care about me.

So, now on to plagerizing SwimBikeMom’s post:

Things I Control, Things I Don’t

Things I Control Today:
What I eat
What I say
(The tone of my voice)
How I react
(My facial expressions)
What I think
(only positive thoughts!)

Things I Don’t Control
What others do to me
What others say to me

I stopped crying by now. I will be happy and appreciate the people who care for me.

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4 Comments

  1. I’m sorry you had such a crap day. Hope things are letting up and I’m looking forward to seeing you at the Ache!

  2. lauraph2009

    thanks – no Ache for me this year. I am heading up to Knoxville! I hope you have a great race.

  3. Ted Phelps

    Sorry to hear about your melt down. Hopefully, those that care about you far out weigh the crazies. Give us a call tonight so we can talk.

    I visited Swim Bike Mom’s blog. Very nice. Her video under About is awesome. I never heard that song “All of these lands across my face” by Brandi Carlile. It gave me chills as I listened to her sing, watched the video while thinking about you. I love you!

  4. I didn’t get to read this until today – catching up. Hope things are going better for you. Sounds like you had a great weekend, so that’s a nice plus. Thanks again for all your racing tips/advice! It made all the difference for me. Glad I know you Laura!

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