She Let Go
I am feeling contemplative today… often is the case after yoga. My yoga instructor, and friend, Michelle often guides us through meditations that are amazingly appropriate on any given day. I thought it was coincidence, but I think not.
I am getting ready to declare some pretty big goals and head in to a busy training season. It is a little scary for me to have all of these challenges ahead of me. Even after these past couple of years of putting myself out there and doing many things out of my comfort zone I still have fear. Not quite sure what I am afraid of…. I certainly am not making a living doing any of these activities (thank goodness) and my career or family life is not hinged on my success at any of these things.
I spent the last couple of weeks toying with the idea of doing them at all. Do I have anything to prove? Will the people who love me only love me if I am a triathlete? That is silly. Why am I so worried about these things. Who knows. The bottom line is that racing and doing triathlons is FUN. Training is fun (in a hard kind of way!) and getting to be with my friends and meeting new people is great.
Michelle read this to us at yoga last night. I love it even though my letting go wasn’t so effortless!
She let go
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go. She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right. She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go. No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go. There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that. In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
Thank you Michelle for sharing this with us. You are a wonderful teacher and friend!
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